Above Photo by Jack Dorsey. Photo Below by Miguel B.
There is a lot to be said in regards to the power and meaning behind one person’s name. When we utter the names of great men and women, we evoke something of what they stood for. These names can be as ancient as Alexander the Great or as modern as Benazir Bhutto and stir a range of intense emotions, negative and positive. In myths and fairytales, names have a supernatural effect on reality whether it is breaking a curse by guessing the name of a devilish imp, or defending the king’s name to restore his kingdom. In tribal cultures, naming calls for an elaborate ceremony in which the person to be named undergoes various trials and tests to prove readiness for adulthood. It is little wonder actors, actresses, musicians, and other entertainers choose to change their names or take stage names; they want to be hard to forget.
Alternatively, there are those who wish to forget. I haven’t seen or talked to my blood father since I was five or six, and wouldn’t recognized him if I passed him by on the street. After long and hard thought, I decided that I no longer wanted to carry his name. There was too much pain and weakness in his name for me. The name I chose to have instead needed to represent all my strengths and uniqueness; I wanted to be the first in a new family line. So when I did finally settle on a name, I made sure that it wasn’t a name that I would have to share with anyone else. I doubt I am alone in changing my name to distance myself from blood relatives, as there are a lot of broken families in this world.
Perhaps rooted in the superstitions regarding names and naming, there is an important truth concerning human nature. I can’t quite discern what truth that would be, though. What I do know is that even if I’m not the person being called, I can’t help but react to the sound of my name on an emotional level. My name seems to be apart of me, integral to my personality, beliefs, and thoughts.
Currently, I write under the pseudonym, John Pageless. I am becoming more dissatisfied with writing under this pseudonym. While I fear the consequences of blogging under my real name, I am also ashamed that I have been hiding behind this pseudonym. Here is the painful truth about blogging - everyone can read what you write. Employers and future employers, aunts, uncles and grandparents, brothers, sisters, friends and complete strangers - everyone can read this blog.
I chose to write under this pseudonym to protect myself from the harsh judgement of the off-line world. But is it worth my integrity? What I say here means a great deal to me. When I talk about religious tolerance and spiritual growth, I hope you understand that these are not just hollow words - I put my whole self out on this blog. Except my name, that is…
Well, I think what I say here is worthy of my name, so I don’t feel I should hide it any longer. My real name is John Michael Crovis. For those playing the home game, you are correct in guessing that my wife is Cathy Crovis of Ripples of Improvement. We both started blogging about the same time, although Cathy began her blog using her real name, where as I wasn’t so sure that was a wise idea. I am not sure what to expect now that I’m officially blogging under my real name, but my hope is that little, if anything, will change.
We shall see…
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