The Pageless Book

Mindfulness, calmness, patience, and compassion - these are the traits that I picture great teachers, such as Jesus or Buddha, embodying. There in lies the problem; it is merely a picture. Of all the things written about the lives of these great teachers, I don’t think I have ever read of such a teacher telling a bothersome student to shut their trap or using foul language in anger. It just isn’t in the records. Was this just an omission, or are the great spiritual teachers of the past so level headed and forgiving that it sets them apart from the rest of humanity? I don’t pretend to know for sure, but my suspicion is that those human flaws were just omitted. We all have ‘off’ days, and there is something particularly satisfying in thinking that the greatest spiritual teachers had them as well.

‘Off’ days can be cathartic in nature. We each have our own inner demons that we push down in an effort to remain civil. Sometimes, it’s just healthier to let those dogs run free for a while. If you have one too many drinks once every few months and end up urinating in the bird bath standing in your back yard, it really isn’t anyone’s business but your own. Do you absolutely feel you’ve got to take a mental health day? Your job will still be there tomorrow, much to your displeasure. Need mindless violence? Nothing is healthier then taking out your frustration on digital enemies on your favorite console video game system. Moderation is the only caveat I would offer concerning these activities, but you should use even moderation in moderation once in a while.

Yet, none of the well known spiritual teachers exemplify this virtue of blowing off some steam. They are portrayed as having the perfect temperament regardless of their situation. It’s a damn shame, too; learning when to take care of yourself is vital to spirituality and to over all well-being in general. Even more surprising is that the folks who work closest with spiritual teachings are among the folks who need to hear this truth the most. Ministers and pastors are notorious over workers and have the annoying tendency to be harder on themselves for their imperfections than need be.

So what can be done to remedy the lack of examples of spiritual teachers having a bad day? The best I can do is close my eye and visualize Buddha playing Mortal Kombat while blurting out profanity or Jesus singing Smells Like Teen Spirit with an empty bottle of jack in hand. Is that sacrilegious? Maybe, but I’d rather be sacrilegious and happy than be perfect but absolutely miserable.

Top Photo by Jason Weemin. Bottom Photo by Elvissa. Originally Published October 18th, 2007.

Image above by “reedbiotch”. Photo below by “gutter”.

In case you haven’t heard about the current internet war against Scientology, let me bring you up to speed. Since the days of the usernet in the 1980’s, The Church of Scientology has actively attempted to quiet all criticism of its actives by citing copyright laws, harassing website owners, and allegedly abusing any means possible to silence detractors. Individuals have had their computers confiscated, been sued, and slandered in opposition of Scientology. On January 16th, a four year old video of Tom Cruise ranting about Scientology surfaced on YouTube and went viral. This brought negative media attention to the Church of Scientology, which prompted them to contact YouTube and demand that they take the video down or face legal proceedings.

I guess this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. On the 21st of the month, several groups of hackers joined together and, calling themselves “Anonymous,” declared war against Scientology in a YouTube video. You can see the original video here, as well as a second video addressing the followers of Scientology in particular here, and a video listing the alleged crimes of Scientology here. So far, the war has resulted in numerous denial of server attacks against the Chuch’s websites, the various videos I link to above, and most likely several acts that I am not yet privy.

So why is this important to me? It brings up an important question about religious tolerance, or the lack there of. Is this just bigotry practiced on a large scale by the hackers of the internet or is Scientology truly a sinister organization as Anonymous would have us believe? Where do I stand as a blogger, a citizen of the internet, and a champion of religious tolerance? What should I do, if anything? These are not easy questions for me to answer, but if I am to be honest with myself, they need to be asked.

Let’s assume for a moment that the accusations of illegal activities made against Scientology are all false and consider only the verifiable facts of how this organization has conducted itself in the past. The organization is heavily reliant on litigation as its means of defending itself and is not interested in open dialogue. They charge an incredible amount of money for access to their teachings and openly prevents the sharing of those teachings by others. Scientology rejects the importance of psychological and psychiatric medicine and offer their own scientifically unproved methods as means of overcoming mental illness… Even without mentioning the rumored illegal activities, I have to question the motives of this organization.

I have come to the conclusion that if even a quarter of what Anonymous has said is true, than Scientology is a detriment to society. The thing is, we don’t have to rely on the word of Anonymous to come to this decision; Belgium, France, Germany, Ireland, Israel, Luxembourg, Mexico, and the United Kingdom refuse to recognize Scientology as a religion. Germany has even considered a ban on Scientology, and the government of Belgium is currently in the process of prosecuting the Church. You could even read the opinions of the judges who have ruled against the Church in the past, including this ruling from the California Supreme Court in the case of Wollersheim v. Church of Scientology:

“Substantial evidence supports the conclusion Scientology leaders made the deliberate decision to ruin Wollersheim economically and possible psychologically….We do not mean to suggest Scientology’s retributive program… represented a full scale modern day ‘inquisition.’ Nevertheless there are some parallels in purpose and effect. ‘Fair game,’ like the ‘inquisition,’ targeted heretics.

“Other testimony established Scientology is a hierarchal organization which exhibits near paranoid attitudes toward certain institutions and individuals — in particular the government, mental health professionals, disaffected members, and others who criticize the organization or its leadership… During trial, Wollersheim’s experts testified Scientology’s ‘auditing’ and ‘disconnect’ practices constituted ‘brainwashing’ and ‘thought reform’ akin to what the Chinese and North Koreans practiced on American prisoners of war…

“Using its position as religious leader, the church and its agents coerced Wollersheim into continuing auditing even though his sanity was repeatedly threatened by this practice… Thus there is adequate proof the religious practice in this instance caused real harm to the individual and the appellant’s outrageous conduct caused that harm… Church practices conducted in a coercive environment are not qualified to be voluntary religious practices entitled to first amendment religious freedom guarantees…

“We hold that the state has a compelling interest in allowing its citizens to recover for serious emotional injuries they suffer through religious practices they are coerced into accepting. Such conduct is too outrageous to be protected under the constitution and too unworthy to be privileged under the law of torts.”

-California appellate court, 2nd district, 7th division, Wollersheim v. Church of Scientology of California, Civ. No. B023193 Cal. Super. (1986)

So are the actions of Anonymous religious intolerance? Regardless of whether I believe the Church of Scientology to be a religion or not, no person or organization should be allowed to abuse the rights of others. No, Anonymous acts not out of religious intolerance, but instead of outrage at injustice. They seek only to work against a corrupt organization, not against the beliefs of others. Despite the fact that I do not agree with their methods, I have a great deal of respect for their purpose and will support them in the one way I can - by adding my voice to their choir.

ARTICLE 19. Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.
~The Universal Declaration of Human Rights, adopted by the United Nations General Assembly on December 10, 1948, in Paris.

Photo by Lin Bow

I’ve mentioned before that I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. Because of this condition, I have to pay special attention to my mood and my stress level so that I don’t suffer a panic attack. Meditation has become a form of preventative medicine for me, but as we all know, it is hard sometimes to find the time when at work or during other important social engagements. Just for this reason, I’ve developed a few meditation techniques that help me relax in the toughest situations.

If you have time to use the restroom, you have time to meditate. Now, I won’t claim that a five minute meditation is going to be as therapeutic as a longer or deeper meditation, but that isn’t its purpose. A five minute meditation is like a between-meal snack; it gives you just enough to help you function until you have a moment to take care of yourself properly. Like all quick fixes, this is a temporary solution, so please don’t treat these techniques as anything but temporary.

The first step is finding some privacy. Now, I don’t want you to think that you must find total privacy - often times this can be unrealistic. Privacy can be as little as walking into a back room, the before-mentioned bathroom brake, or a mindless activity that separates you from your source of stress. All you need is enough privacy so you can hear yourself think.

The next step is to take three deep breaths, each one slower then the last. This clears my mind, slows down my heart rate, and prepares me for the rest of the meditation. If you feel you need more then three deep breaths, take your time and give yourself what you need. I sometimes find it helpful to visualize light entering my body with each breath, but this is completely up to you.

This small act might be enough to help you deal with your situation, but if not, you should try recognizing the source of your stress and accepting it. Sometimes recognizing the source of stress can be enough to bring relief. Allowing myself a moment to acknowledge that a situation is stressful and accepting that situation for what it is gives me enough perspective to handle the stress it creates. I need only to say to myself, “I am feeling stressful because…” then state what is making me feel stressful.

After accepting the source of your stress, most often I will need to delve deeper. Attempts to keep your emotions in check can become an added source of stress in addition to your external situation. Say to yourself “This is stressful because it makes me feel…” finishing the sentence with how it is making you feel stressed. Perhaps you are angry that you have to deal with a problem that you didn’t create. For me, sometimes I feel afraid of making a mistake, or guilty that I have already made mistakes. Whatever it is, by recognizing that emotion and no longer avoiding that emotion, you will find the situation easier to handle.

Finally, if you still have not sufficiently calmed down, you should remind yourself why you can handle this stressful situation. Say to yourself “I can handle this because…” and say whatever best helps you face your problem. If it is an ongoing issue, I like to remind yourself that I have handled this successfully before, or if you feel that the source of your stress is somehow your fault, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes. Whatever it is you need to say to yourself, say it over and over again, until it begins to have a calming affect. I would personally recommend between seven and ten times, but if you feel relaxed after less repetitions, that is fine as well. Once again, I take a few slow deep breaths. Now I would be ready to face whatever obstacle ahead of me.

Most times, a five minute meditation isn’t enough to completely relieve you of your stress. That’s okay. I find that working out even a small bit of that tension from my day can make it more bearable and is usually enough to keep a handle on myself. It should go without saying, however, that the better you take care of yourself when you are not in stressful situations, the easier it will become to maintain a low level of stress in those situations. With this in mind, if you find yourself using this technique more than once per day, you should look into other means of lowering your over all stress level. For me, this meant seeing my doctor, although for you it may mean daily meditation or exercise.

A few days ago, Shelby published an article on her blog that implied some measure of spiritual growth comes naturally from overcoming fear. The article itself is brief, allowing instead the story to which it linked make her argument. I highly recommend reading it; the story isn’t long at all. While the short story demonstrated effectively how overcoming fear could lead to spiritual growth, I felt that there was more to be said about the subject. I would like to present you with my own experiences.

Now, to give you a little background, I should let you know that I suffer from an anxiety disorder. As someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder, things that would only worry some folks could drive me to overwhelming fear. Yet somehow I manage to also be a hard-core optimist. Seems contradictory, doesn’t it? I suffer from a mental illness defined by constant worry, and yet find the strength to hope for the best even in the worst situations. Actually, this isn’t as conflicting as it may seem at first blush. Without my optimism, it would be harder for me to function and cope with fear that I ultimately have no control over. I have to hope for the best because if I do not I will only imagine the worse. This is a defense mechanism; however, it is also much more.

Each time you are confronted by something you fear and then overcome that fear, you feel a sense of relief. You also begin to trust in something greater than yourself. That thing that you increasingly trust may be defined as God, humanity, or simply the process of living your life. The sense of trust you have in something grander then yourself is nothing less then faith. With every obstacle conquered, that faith grows stronger, allowing you to then face even greater obstacles. To give you an analogy, faith is like the muscles in your arm, while fear is like a heavy weight; the more you lift, the stronger you become.

What does this mean for the horror movie fan? Nothing. Fear has to be something that personally affects you in a meaningful way to give rise to greater faith. Watching a guy in a hockey mask slaughter a pair of teenaged lovers in the middle of the woods doesn’t really count when you know the blood is fake and the actress is posing on next month’s magazine cover. This does not mean that all individuals who have a generalized anxiety disorder are somehow bastions of faith and optimism. When faced with the real fear, it may be more intense for me, but I know that the majority of my fear is a reaction of chemicals that I have no control over. It also doesn’t mean that someone who has a harder life would be necessarily stronger for it. You have to face your fears and master them to build faith; if all you do is run, then you will always be afraid.

What I want you to come away with is that fear is not to be avoided, but confronted on a regular basis. Fear can be a perfectly healthy emotion that can, over time, strengthen your resolve. I would like you to realize that true acts of bravery and faith come from being scared speechless, but doing what needs to be done regardless of that fear.

I am not feeling myself today. In fact, I have not been feeling much of anything for the last few weeks. Yes, ladies and gents, ‘tis the season for seasonal depression. Your humble narrator is not up to writing a whole post about some obscure philosophy or the blending of religious traditions today, so I’m not even going to try to be profound.

I will, however, expound upon a theory I have about the future of Ministry. Soon, I believe that Ministry will have less to do regarding religion, and more to do regarding mental health. Many of you will take a look at the more extreme religious leaders today and shiver at the thought of receiving mental health care from their likes - as well you should. However, if you take a look at the more mainstream Christian authors, or just browse the Christian section of you local book store, you’re likely to find titles look like and read like self-help books. They are self-help books - they just happen to be written by Christian Ministers.

There are many functions that a religious leaders fills, from conducting ceremonies to championing important causes. However, the reason why his or her flock keeps coming back has nothing to do with activism or maintaining traditions, but rather the soothing effect of the act of worship and the support that the Minister provides to each individual. I would like to regard church as being preventative mental health. I have no doubt that this is the function that clergy will serve in the future. Even as I write this, mental health professionals are looking into the effects of spirituality on their patients. These two professions are becoming more interrelated.

Is it any wonder? Just think about the basic messages that religions teach. Buddhism teaches that suffering can be transcended. Christianity teaches that God will forgive us, if we only ask. Neo-Paganism teaches that all things are divine. The positive messages of these religions and others fortify our emotional well being against mental illness, stress, and gives us hope that tomorrow will be better.

It makes me feel better knowing that this is the profession I’ve chose to go into. In fact, I may have just managed to beat my blues for today by writing this article. I guess God really does work in mysterious ways, which leaves me with only one thing left to say - Thank you.

Mankind is plagued by vices that robs us of our aspirations by sapping our will power. We all suffer from our vices and from each other’s vices equally. If you don’t believe we do, you need only walk the dark alleyways of the worst side of town to see for yourself. What you may not be able to admit is when your vices have the best of you. I’ll admit that, right now, my vices have the best of me.

When I say “vice” exactly what comes to you mind? One thing that comes to my mind is actions of small consequence leading to greater and greater breaching of social taboos. A vice, in the traditional sense of the word, is sort of like a gateway to larger sins. It is what marijuana is to heroin, a casual glance is to infidelity, or occasional speeding is to illegal street racing. Of course, when I actually choose to use my brain, I realize that this definition of “vice” relies quite heavily on the unreasonable expectation that small indiscretions always lead to more extreme acts.

That isn’t at all what I mean when I say “vice”. A vice is something that we do to dull the pain of our own inner turmoil. It’s a dampening device that blots out our emotions so we don’t have to deal with them. And depending on the person, the time, and their attitude, what might be a vice in one circumstance may very well be perfectly fine in another circumstance.

Take me, for example. I drink. I like drinking, but rarely drink to excess. My normal cut off point is about three drinks, but there have been instances when I’ve far exceeded that point. These times were not necessarily times of vice, though; I wasn’t looking for a quick fix for my emotions and was genuinely enjoying myself. Tonight, however, I had one drink. I drank because I was tired, a little sad, and perhaps a little annoyed as well. One drink doesn’t sound like it constitutes a vice, does it? It is a vice, and tonight was a moment of weakness.

That one drink, my general apathy, and my general disdain for how my day played out kept me from enjoying the company of my wife, tonight. That is time I’ll never get back - time I spent sulking by myself for no damn good reason. Anything that is done to escape responsibility for taking care of yourself is ultimately a vice.

Have you thought about your vices lately? Perhaps it is time for me to think about mine… I need to decide what is truly important to me, and stop being so afraid to pursue my own dreams. It isn’t easy. As trite as it may sound, all I can do is pray that God helps me through this.

Oh, and perhaps it would do well to spend quality time with the wife, as well…