The Pageless Book

Photo Above by Angela Hopper.

Jules from a UU Deist in Texas has tagged me for yet another blogging meme. I’m suppose to provide ten weird, random facts about myself. I could do much more, but I think I’ll stick with ten. Also, I don’t think it would hurt to try to stick with the theme of my blog for this one, so I’ll try to choose facts that deal with religion or spirituality.

1) I taught myself meditation when I was elementary school. One would think that such early experience with meditation would make it a life long habit. Alas, no - I have become woefully lazy in adulthood, and rarely make time for meditation.

2) I used to peruse Wiccan, pagan, and occult websites during my programming classes in high school. Suffice to say, I no longer remember how to program in BASIC, but I’m still perusing those websites.

3) For Halloween one year, the church that my mother sent us to for Sunday School asked the children to dress up as Biblical characters. They took offense when my brother an I showed up with toy six shooters and ten gallon hats. Cowboys, apparently, do not appear in the Bible.

4) Same church taught that drinking alcohol and smoking were sinful, and unrepentant drinkers and smokers were going to hell. My mother, who used to drink and smoke, took offense to that. Needless to say, my brother and I were pretty much un-churched from then forward.

5) At one point in my childhood, my parents were toying with the idea of becoming Mormons. Yes, I’m well aware of the irony.

6) My mother, my brother, and I have had extensive conversations discussing the meaning behind Marilyn Manson, Nirvana, and Nine Inch Nails lyrics - particularly within a religious and moral contexts. My mother’s thinking was that if we were mature enough understand it, we were mature enough to listen.

7) I think I’ve said this before, but I’ll say it again - I knew I wanted to become minister before even knowing what religion to become a minister of. Yes, that is a very backwards way to approach religion.

When I told my mother that I felt I was no longer a Christian, she remarked that she was more afraid that I was going to tell her that I was a homosexual. No, that didn’t sit well with me, but I let it slide at the time because it meant exploring new faiths without having to hide my activities.

9) Learning about The Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, Aleister Crowley, Qabalah, and Gnosticism gave me a renewed respect for the Jewish God and Jesus Christ. Catholic Theologians everywhere are turning in their graves so fast that they are generating electricity!

10) Oh, and lets not forget that whole “Omnitheism” / “The Gated Emptiness” thing that this site has going for it. There is nothing stranger than an eccentric blogging about his beliefs…

I will forgo tagging others for now, seeing as I’m still getting back into the swing of things. Hopefully you’ve found this entertaining. Namaste.

Above Photo by Starbeard. Below Photo by Mamjodh. Final Photo by Virginie.

Today, I have planned a grand experiment! I’m going to start my first blogging meme. Sure, I’ve participated in blogging memes before, but never have I tried to be the cause of one. The theme of this meme? Choose ten people whom you would confer Sainthood on and what that person would be the patron saint of. As with all memes, you can be as serious or as humorous as you please. I personally plan to do a little of both. Here are my list of ten, in no particular order…

Eliphas Levi, Patron Saint of Occultism
If you are going to discuss the history of occultism in any serious manner, this man’s name is bound to come up. While he is not the first occultist, his contributions to occultism are numerous and historical. It was Levi who first married Qabalah, Gnosticism, Hermeticism, Rosicrucianism, and Alchemy into the single system of symbolism on which the Golden Dawn would later base their teachings.

Thomas Jefferson, Patron Saint of Democracy
Much of the thanks that people of all democratic nations is owed to this man, who played a pivotal role in crafting Democracy as we know it today. Although many of his views, such as the separation of Church and State, remain controversial, the character of the American political system exhibits the unmistakable mark of his genius.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, Patron Saint Spirituality

The words of this famous Unitarian minster still inspire his readers to look deep within themselves for spiritual sustenance. His writings are so influential that they are still read, quoted, and debated by Unitarian Universalists today. If I were to choose one person I wished to emulate as a minster, he would be my choice.

H.P. Lovecraft, Patron Saint of Horror
Everything is better with tentacles. Ancient sleeping demon threatening to enslave humanity? Needs tentacles. Bazaar extra dimensional aliens bent on world domination? Still needs tentacles. Angel food cake with strawberries and whipped cream? Tentacles; lots and lots of tentacles. And for this, we can thank the author H.P. Lovecraft.

Mahatma Gandhi, Patron Saint of Peace
Another man who I wish to emulate, Mahatma Gandhi changed the nature of protest and social change. The idea of non-violent protest was is so revolutionary, that it is hard to measure the impact that this man has had on our history. Would Dr. Martin Luther King have ended segregation without Gandhi as an inspiration? I’m not so sure. Would religious intolerance be a larger issue without his teachings? Of that, I am sure.

Albert Einstein, Patron Saint of Reason
For a young man who was bad at algebra, Albert Einstein more than over came this obstacle, becoming the most famous scientist in history. It is important, however, to realize that his fame was not just due to what he did within the confines of the scientific world, but also what he said and wrote during is life time. Einstein is one of my favorite people to quote when it comes to spirituality and religion, not because he was a rational theist, but because his words cut to the truth of any subject on which he cared to comment.

Timothy Leary, Patron Saint of Radical Change
Yet another giant of forward thinking, Leary is often dismissed due to his advocacy psychedelic drug use and radical ideas. I cannot, however, imagine my list of saints without him. His catch phrase, “Think For Yourself & Question Authority” is my personal mantra. For me, this man embodies the potential for radical social change.

Shel Sliverstein, Patron Saint of Humor
When I was seven, I received my first pair of glasses. Along with my glasses, I was given a copy of “Where The Sidewalk Ends.” I still have that book. It has played a large part in the development of my sense of humor, writing style, and common sense that I couldn’t imagine my life without it. Such a small thing can sometimes be the root of large changes.

Kurt Cobain, Patron Saint of Teenage Rebellion
What can I say? I’m a proud member of Generation X. Kurt Cobain embodied so much of what it means to me to be a teenager; the anger, anxiety, and angst. While many would say that his effect on American Culture is greatly exaggerated, I tend to disagree; the changes that his music have made are still being felt today.

Gary Gygax, Patron Saint of Games
Dungeons & Dragons have very much been on my mind since Gary Gygax’s death earlier this month. As I have said before about the game, I don’t know who I would be without D&D in my life. As such, if I had my choice for the Patron Saint of Games, Mr. Gygax would be it.

And now I’m going to tag Julian, Chalicechick, Dianne Sylvan, Bill Cecchini, Ms. Kitty, Tobeme, Hafidha Sofia, My Wife, Evan, Ms. Theologian, Elizabeth, and Shelby. I figure if half the people on this list choose to participate in this meme, it will be well on its way to becoming popular. Please tag three others at the end of your post. Keep it going strong!

Above Image by Sourabh Rath. Explosion Photo by Ed Schipul. Stop Sign Photo by Peter Kaminski.

There are two types of cosmic events in every life; BOOM-woah moments and BLAH-meh moments. It is the interplay of these two moments that determine the quality of your life. The more time you spend in BOOM-woah moments, the higher the likelihood of success and happiness. Conversely, if you spend the majority of your time in BLAH-meh moments, you are more likely to be a boring and depressing schmuck. As such, to ensure that you live your life to the fullest, it only makes sense to maximize BOOM-woah and minimize BLAH-meh.

Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? Well then, there isn’t much more for us to discuss, is there? That is unless you have no bloody idea as to the meaning of BOOM-woah or BLAH-meh, in which case you probably look as puzzled as an alien abduction victim that just walked in on an episode of Good Times. Don’t fret - I intend on making this as clear as mud for you.

BOOM-woah

The first half of our dysfunctional metaphor, BOOM-woah, refers to sudden moments of intense wonder. These moments can be observed through the manifestation of certain behaviors, such as crying while laughing, serene peaceful smiles, or shouting “YIPPEE!” in a crowded public restroom… just after the lights went out. It feels really good, but this is a sudden good, so it’s like “BOOM” and all you can say is “woah” like a Keanu Reeves bobble-head. When someone talks about finding Christ, Nirvana, or Jimmy Hoffa, this is what their talking about.

But this doesn’t have to be just about religion! You don’t need to believe in a great bearded man in the sky to have BOOM-woah moments. Carl Sagan, an astronomer and modern philosopher, didn’t believe in a God, yet had BOOM-woah moments all the time. He was just in awe of the beauty and immensity of the vast stretches of emptiness we call late night television, er, I mean space. Those moments when it struck him like a gong that we are just little bits of improbable dust in such very large place are valid BOOM-woah moments.

BLAH-meh

On the other hand, BLAH-meh refers to ongoing moments of intense boredom and indifference. It is like when a cold brussel sprout falls into your salmon flavored gelatin - this is serious apathy. Again, BLAH-meh moments can be observed through the behavior of those experiencing BLAH-meh moments, or rather through their lack of behavior. Whether it be the forlorn sigh, the downwards stare, or the curious abundance of “Office Space” paraphernalia in a temp’s cubical, it can be fairly easy to spot someone who is experiencing a BLAH-meh moment. When someone grumbles about Monday, the lousy local sports team, or their last colonoscopy performed by sea urchin, you can be relatively sure that they are having a BLAH-meh moment.

But this doesn’t have to be just about the medical practices of echinoids! Everyone has BLAH-meh experiences, whether it be on Monday morning or on their Wedding night (woe to he who admits that to his wife). If you have too many BLAH-meh moments, however, you become a schmuck and suck the life out of everyone else around you. You’ll be like “BLAH,” and everyone else will emit a hoarse “meh,” and you’ll morph into a wrinkle of Jewish foreskin. I swear to God, I’ve seen it happen! Just take a good long look at Rush Limbaugh, and tell me you don’t see wrinkled Jewish foreskin.

BLAH-woah & BOOM-meh

These lesser known events, while not as cosmic or universal as BOOM-woah or BLAH-meh, are worth mentioning. BLAH-woah occurs in instances when you are truly amazed at how bland and worthless a moment turned out to be. It is more of a philosophical BLAH-meh. While many attribute the writings of Friedrich Nietzsche to his constant illness and struggle to find meaning in his life, I prefer to look at his observations as a series of BLAH-woah moments. They make more sense that way. Conversely, BOOM-meh is the sudden onset of indifference. It is like going to the theater to watch an Academy Award winning movie only to discover that they are only showing “Ishtar” instead.

Now that you understand what BOOM-woah and BLAH-meh are about, you can apply it to your own life, knowing that these two attend as beacons guiding your ship away from shallow waters, and straight towards the light house. May the wisdom of BOOM-woah and BLAH-meh serve you well.

Yet again, I find myself tagged for a blogging meme; the “One Book Meme.” This time, I was tagged by Jerome from Under A Violet Sun… which means I can get back at the person who tagged me last time, as well as annoy a few other folks who leave me comments! I’ll also take this opportunity to link those books to Amazon through my associates account. If my list inspires you to buy, please consider doing so through my website. Let’s get this party underway, shall we?

One book that changed my life.
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. Not only did this book introduce me to critical analysis of literature, but also opened my eyes to the depth of other religions. If it weren’t for this book, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

One book that I’ve read more than once.
The Spiral Dance by Starhawk. While criticized for being too political, I have to admit this book also had a positive impact on me. I like the poetic and social approach she has in regards to spirituality.

One book I’d want on a desert island.
SAS Survival Handbook by John Lofty Wiseman. No, I’ve never read this book. Yes, I’m being facetious.

One books that made me laugh.
Amphigorey by Edward Gorey. This was given to me by my brother-in-law for Christmas. We share the same, sick sense of humor. The humor isn’t always immediately obvious, and Edward Gorey’s style takes a some getting used to, but I find this book extremely rewarding.

One book that made me cry.
Nothing that I’ve read has ever really made me cry. That isn’t to say that I never read sad books, just that books don’t make me cry. I guess I’m a bit strange in that respect.

One book that I wish had been written.
My Eight Years by President Al Gore. I know I’m making a political statement in saying that, but it is the only thing that came to my mind. I think this country and the world would be a better place right now if he had taken the White House.

One book that I wish had never been written.
Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler. Do I really need to explain this one?

One books I’m currently reading.
The Language of God by Francis S. Collins. I plan on doing a review on this book, once I’m finished. I don’t agree with everything that Dr. Collins says in this book, but I am enjoying it.

One book I’ve been meaning to read.
The Christian Bible. If I’m going to be a Minister, I should at least read it once front to back. The problem is working up the will power to trudge through it. The genealogies and laws are probably the hardest part of the book to appreciate… they slow the whole narrative down.

Now I must tag five people: Cathy, Hafidha Sofia, Julian, Kelly, and Ms. Kitty.

Above photo by Faeryan.