Photo Above by Meyshan. Photo Below by Jaqian, of sculpture titled “Aspiration” by Rowan Gillespie.
Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of meditation and prayer on the subject of my aspiration and hopes for the future. Now, I’m not the type of person to believe that prayer was meant making requests of the Divine, but rather clarity in how to approach those things you want in your life. At this time in my life, the resources I need to pursue my passions are scarce. While I know that in the future I will be free to pursue bigger and better things, right now I’m frustrated with my current situation.
I am meant to do something important with this life. Constantly, I am reminded that I am meant for something greater. Not fame or fortune, but something that actively makes this world a better place. There is a lot to love in this world that often goes unrecognized and unappreciated. It is as if I see potential where others see only profit, greatness where others see poverty, and beauty everywhere while my fellow human beings walk about with glazed over eyes.
This is what I want from life… I want open eyes, create, heal, and learn. I want to be a father to my children, a husband to my wife, and a brother to all people. I want to be artistic in the way I live my life. I want to start a revolution in humanity’s perception of itself. I want to pry into God’s eye and see deeper into the truth than ever has been seen before. I want love for myself, for those around me, and for those in pain. I want to be the person who makes all difference in the world.
Egotistical? You bet it is. It is the main occupation of my ego to wish bigger and better things for myself. I’m not content to remain a cog in the machine; I’m tired of going around in circles. While I am still young, I can’t help but feel that time is slipping away from me. It just doesn’t feel like I’m moving forward.
I know, I know - enough of this incessant angst! I have a lot to be thankful for, not the least of which is my loving wife, family, and friends. I’m also thankful to have a place where I can speak my mind on spiritual and religious topics - a place to think and be heard. Perhaps I should spend sometime focusing on the positive and remembering that I am blessed. I still have sixty-some-odd years of life ahead of me; my adult life accounts only for eight of my soon-to-be twenty nine years.
…It’s too early for a mid-life crisis.
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