Photo above by Janine C. Photo below is Public Domain Courtesy of the National Archives.
The first experience with racism was when I was five or six… but it was not as you might think. I accused a black child of drinking my beverage when I wasn’t looking. My so-called proof was the swirling of my own saliva in my cup. I believed, at that time, that what I was looking at was his ‘blackness’ that had come off from his skin. When I told an adult, I felt the squirming warmth of revenge uncoil in my heart and was satisfied that justice had been done.
Later, when my mother had pointed out that it was my own saliva I was looking at, I felt guilty and foolish. However, for a brief moment hatred had taken seed in me. Now, it would be easy to dismiss this childhood memory as a simple misunderstanding. You shouldn’t. That is how any form of bigotry takes root - from the inability or the unwillingness to understand one another.
And to be completely honest, that isn’t the last time I have had to struggle with my own innate racism, or the racism of others. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I’ve heard disparaging remarks about African Americans and did nothing. My own cowardice is proceeded only by my arrogance in thinking that I am not racist. No matter how many times I say I am color blind, I still see black and white. No matter how friendly I am towards those who are different than me, there is a part of me that is trying to prove something. And the more sensitive I am about another person’s race or ethnicity, the more I avoid trying to understand them.
February is Black History Month, a month long reminder of the great accomplishments and contributions that African Americans have made despite their struggle against racism in the States. If you haven’t guessed by now, I have a lot of mixed feeling about Black History Month. The fact that we have to attribute a full month to one racial minority is a tribute to how little we understand each other as human beings. That so many other minorities, such as the American Indians, do not have the same distinction also makes my heart uneasy. But it is our history as a species, blighted by so many atrocities, that worries me the most. I’m not entirely sure that we are making progress.
It isn’t enough for individuals to hide their misunderstandings of each other under thin veils of politeness. Race deserves open and honest discourse through which we can come to understand each other. We need to each admit to ourselves our own blind spots and try to broaden our vision. Without that, we are merely ignoring the problem.
Of course none of this is easy. If it were, my parent’s generation would have eliminated racism long before my conception. Its specter still looms over American history, threatening to taint our future and darken our doorstep. I don’t believe that this is a lost cause, but I still have trouble taking anyone who says they are color-blind seriously.
With this in mind, I humbly pray for mutual understanding among all people. God, we are your children; Please make us see!
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February 5th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
There are very few things I can thank my father for, but color-blindness is one of them. He TRULY believed all people — no matter what color, race or religion — were equal. Whenever I think of his example, I literally tear up and am filled with gratitude. He didn’t do so well on sexism and homophobia, but I think by the time he died, he had mostly given up his prejudices there, too.
February 5th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
An outsiders perspective on a caucasian perspective on black history month. (I’m an Australian).
From the outside it is clear America is still a society divided along race lines (just as to those outside it is clear that Australia is still running some kind of unofficial apartheid system - made worse under the thankfully just ejected conservative government - regarding our indigenous people.
I really think the only way to bring lasting change is to bring opportunities for those of different cultures to listen deeply to each other. This is probably best started by finding common tasks to work on together (debates just entrench positions).
How I wish Australia had the courage to even discuss a proposal for an Aboriginal History Month.
February 6th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Thank you for this post. Your story from childhood reminds me of an insightful book on children and racism: “The First R: How Children Learn Race and Racism,” by Debra Van Ausdale and Joe R. Feagin.
February 6th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Hello Kelly,
It isn’t easy to be completely without bias at all. We are all something like works in progress in that regard. It does sound like your father was a good man with a good heart. You’ve inherited that from him as well.
Namaste.
February 6th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Hello Evan,
Wow. Here I thought that Australia was more liberal and progressive than the U.S. That does put things in a different perspective - thank you for letting me know about that. Now, I’m going to have to read up on Australian History…
Namaste.
February 6th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Hello Shelby,
I’m glad you enjoyed this post. To be honest, I was somewhat apprehensive about posting it. I’m not at all comfortable talking about race - it’s a fear I need to work on.
Namaste.
February 7th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Quite courageous to put up this post Johnny P. And I agree with you in your statement about innate racism. i think we all have it no matter how much we want to deny it and say, “I’ve got a good friend who’s black.”
On a side (but somewhat related note) i can tell you from personal observation and conversation… it is my opinion that a large percentage of Hispanics are racist against black people. I see it and hear it time and time again in the dealings with our approximately 178 clients… 98% of them being Hispanic.
They have a preconceived and uneducated notion of black people and I believe THAT is why Hillary Clinton is carrying a huge percentage of Hispanic voters.
I’m ashamed in that regard about my Hispanic community.
February 9th, 2008 at 11:43 pm
Hello Julian,
Thank you. It’s a very touchy subject that’s hard to approach, but I felt it was appropriate for Black History Month. And you are right; racism is not just a “white vs.” issue. However, I’m content to focus on the log in my own eye than the mote in someone else’s… I guess that’s the best anyone could hope to do.
Namaste, Friend.