A few days ago, Shelby published an article on her blog that implied some measure of spiritual growth comes naturally from overcoming fear. The article itself is brief, allowing instead the story to which it linked make her argument. I highly recommend reading it; the story isn’t long at all. While the short story demonstrated effectively how overcoming fear could lead to spiritual growth, I felt that there was more to be said about the subject. I would like to present you with my own experiences.
Now, to give you a little background, I should let you know that I suffer from an anxiety disorder. As someone who suffers from an anxiety disorder, things that would only worry some folks could drive me to overwhelming fear. Yet somehow I manage to also be a hard-core optimist. Seems contradictory, doesn’t it? I suffer from a mental illness defined by constant worry, and yet find the strength to hope for the best even in the worst situations. Actually, this isn’t as conflicting as it may seem at first blush. Without my optimism, it would be harder for me to function and cope with fear that I ultimately have no control over. I have to hope for the best because if I do not I will only imagine the worse. This is a defense mechanism; however, it is also much more.
Each time you are confronted by something you fear and then overcome that fear, you feel a sense of relief. You also begin to trust in something greater than yourself. That thing that you increasingly trust may be defined as God, humanity, or simply the process of living your life. The sense of trust you have in something grander then yourself is nothing less then faith. With every obstacle conquered, that faith grows stronger, allowing you to then face even greater obstacles. To give you an analogy, faith is like the muscles in your arm, while fear is like a heavy weight; the more you lift, the stronger you become.
What does this mean for the horror movie fan? Nothing. Fear has to be something that personally affects you in a meaningful way to give rise to greater faith. Watching a guy in a hockey mask slaughter a pair of teenaged lovers in the middle of the woods doesn’t really count when you know the blood is fake and the actress is posing on next month’s magazine cover. This does not mean that all individuals who have a generalized anxiety disorder are somehow bastions of faith and optimism. When faced with the real fear, it may be more intense for me, but I know that the majority of my fear is a reaction of chemicals that I have no control over. It also doesn’t mean that someone who has a harder life would be necessarily stronger for it. You have to face your fears and master them to build faith; if all you do is run, then you will always be afraid.
What I want you to come away with is that fear is not to be avoided, but confronted on a regular basis. Fear can be a perfectly healthy emotion that can, over time, strengthen your resolve. I would like you to realize that true acts of bravery and faith come from being scared speechless, but doing what needs to be done regardless of that fear.
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